1. This Is The Only Candy That Matters
What you are drooling over is called a Buckeye; it tastes like a cherub spent a century messaging peanut butter with its chubby fingers, wrapped it lovingly in milk chocolate, and then hand delivered it to your mouth. What’s the catch? If you have a Buckeye anywhere outside of Ohio, it will taste like a chocolate dipped disappointment.
2. You Must Pick A Side: Cincinnati v. Cleveland.
If you are from Cincinnati, you hate people from Cleveland. If you are from Cleveland you hate people from Cincinnati. If you put enough of people from both cities in a room, a fight will break out. This means you always have something to talk about, even when it’s not baseball or football season.
3. Unless You’re From Columbus
There is one exception to the point above. People living in Columbus do their best to pretend they are above the fray.
4. Every Four Years Politicians Lose Their Shit For Ohio
Like clockwork, every presidential election cycle politicians and media start reminding everyone that Ohio is a swing state. It’s as if everyone forgets Ohio is the seventh most populous state in the Union. It has, and I’m not exaggerating, like a billion electoral votes. What this mean? If you want to shake hands with the future president, you’ll get your chance in Ohio.
5. That’s Not How You Say It
Quick, what’s a carbonated beverage like Coke or Pepsi called? It’s called “pop”–not “soda.” And don’t even think about calling it “Coke” like they do down South. Ohioans know what I mean.
6. Two People In Ohio Got Together And Spawned This
Sure, there were some hurt feelings when King James left the Cleveland Cavaliers, but do you really think we aren’t proud of one of the best basketball players of all time? Do you think we are stupid?
7. We Admit Our Mistakes
Guy Fieri might have grown up in California, but he was born in Ohio. We apologize to any taste buds that were harmed in the making of his “Slamma Jamma Parmigiana.”
8. We Are The Die-Hardiest of Die-Hards
Let’s be honest with ourselves, shall we? Professional sports teams in Ohio are, for the most part, a mess. The Browns? I won’t even make the obvious toilet joke. The Bengals? I think they won a playoff game in 1990. The Reds? Seriously, why is Dusty Baker still the manager. But does it really matter? We are all going to watch. There’s just no room for bandwagon fans.
9. The Fan Section Other Cities Want
Speaking of professional sports: One day some Cleveland Browns fans got together and decided that if their team wasn’t going to show up and actually play a game worth watching, then they were going to show up and entertain the crowd. And thus was born the Dawg Pound, the rowdiest bleacher section in major league football.
10. Chili Goes On Top Of Noodles
Let me dispel some myths for you: First, putting beans in your chili is sacrilegious. Second, you don’t slop your meaty goodness into a bowl and call it day. Here’s what you do: You combine some cinnamon, cloves, allspice, and a little chocolate with your meat. Then you ladle this over spaghetti noodles and pile with cheddar cheese. Finally, you pray to whatever mad god, created Cincinnati chili.
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Source: 25 Things You Need To Know Before Moving To Ohio